[2006 feb 16]
I get a fair bit of email about Xpdf, including the occasional bug report. Now most of this email is polite, rational, and constructive. But every now and then I get one that's more entertaining. I herewith present an example for your amusement... 
From: [bogus nickname] <[redacted]@gmail.com>
Subject: xpdf: wack.
Great subject line - almost no useful information at all (but at least it mentions Xpdf). 
dude, what's up with this thing?
Dude! Wazzzzup!

(Also, there are two keys on your keyboard labeled "shift". Try one sometime. Ah well, I suppose I should be grateful you haven't "evolved" past the need for punctuation yet.) 

it is the slowest god damned thing i've ever seen.  i have to wait
nearly thirty seconds to see the next page of a research paper. on a
frickin' athlon 2100 with a gig of ram no less!
Thank you for the detailed bug report, including exactly zero information on the version of Xpdf in question, and only slightly more information on the problematic PDF file. Hey, if it fails on one research paper, it undoubtedly fails on all of them, right? 
i mean, i wouldn't have been willing to let this kind of performance
slide ten (10) years ago! much less now! good lord!
Wait, you were alive ten years ago? 
i don't know why this thing runs at one one thousandth of the speed of
acrobat reader, but i think you and your programming buddies need to
get out a profiler and figure out what the hell is going on here.
maybe it's not your using some library and it's not really your fault,
but someone's gotta fix this. it's ridiculous.
Hey, it's open source. Have at it. While you're at it, take your "programming buddies" with you. And then send me a real bug report. 
yours faithfully,

[bogus nickname]
Uh huh. You have a nice day now, too.